So here it is... I have started over so many times I really don't know if I am starting or stopping or what! I really am trying to find my motivation and what I feel will work for me, something that I think that I can live with. I haven't posted because honestly I am not really doing anything. Sad I know. I love to workout, yet I find all kinds of excuses not too. I know how to eat healthy, yet I still put too much in my mouth. I watch the Biggest loser on TV and think, wow if they can do it then I can too. And I still have not committed. What is wrong with me? I want to be happy with myself and my everyday choices. I want to stop feeling guilty every time I read everyones posts and see that they are achieving what I so desperately want. I really feel like I am the only one with the struggles. Like I said I have started over so many times! Why is it so hard, You would think that if I am unhappy then I would do all that I could to change things right? Sounds good to me. But for some reason I still eat wrong and make crap excuses for not working out. I overcame one of my excuses today for going to the gym, that was that my 3 year old won't go in the little play place day care thing at the gym, but I took him today and he did fine and I got an hour on the treadmill. So I was happy with that. But I just feel like I need to do so much more and can't figure out how to push myself to keep going this time. Karilynn, you are such an inspiration to me. You have just made up your mind and have gone for it. I really am proud of you. Same with Melissa last year, she just made up her mind and said I will not fail and boom she did it. What is the secret that I am not getting? It can't be from not wanting it bad enough, because I definitely want it. I am going to die from complications from my Diabetes if I don't do it, and I know this and still seem to fail. What is wrong with this picture?
UUGGHH!!
OK, Sorry that was just a big long rant!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
ok...
Posted by Carrie at 2:19 PM
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4 comments:
I think my success is really because I REFUSE TO FAIL! It hasn't ever really been about weight loss for me. I wanted to finally finish something. I was talking to Melissa today and realized that my goal of 50 lbs by the end of this is totally reachable! I CAN'T WAIT.
I've failed MANY times over. Today I was sitting on my couch wondering WHY? Why didn't I do this sooner? It's really quite easy once you STOP MAKING EXCUSES and DO IT! :o) You seriously almost got to hang out with me today.... too bad little guy was at the neighbors making jam. ;o)
Sorry Carrie. I'm actually glad you posted this and actually said "I make excuses". It's really hard to change a dang thing when you are full of excuses. Good for you for bringing Joseph! Even if he was not happy with you going, you should still go (but great that he was). I can't tell you where the motivation came from last year, but I'll tell you one thing..You are CERTAINLY NOT Alone in your feelings of frustration. Not one bit! I know SO many people (including myself) who get so upset when we make bad choices. I think the thing is just to DO IT....like you said. Both Karilynn and I were like "ok this is IT" and it WAS IT! I wish I could help more....just do it! you KNOW what you should be doing. I am entering pms and I SWEAR it is SOO HARD! I literally have to TALK to myself and say "no, I don't need this...I want to make my goal" and say it over and over in my head because if I say it in my head over and over than that little voice that tells me "you are hungry and you want snacks" goes away enough for me to leave the situation.
Okaya I've SO rambled......You CAN do this Carrie. But it's up to YOU and no one else!
I think we've all felt very frustrated through this contest, but I think as long as you keep at it and do the best you can, it's more important than how much you ACTUALLY lose. It's difficult to change your lifestyle, especially if it's how you were raised. I've got faith in you, Carrie. You can do it!
What an honest post! I tried so hard so many times to lose my baby weight and failed. Ok, let me rephrase that. I tried for like a week each time and failed. So did I really try? Then when we started this contest I "just did it". I don't know how to describe the difference. I just did it. I guess I made the commitment and told myself I couldn't fail this time. This contest really helped me. Other than that there was no other miracle solution.
I wonder if there's an underlying reason that is preventing you from allowing yourself to succeed. Don't beat yourself up and wonder why you aren't capable of succeeding because maybe there's something more to it for you. People gain weight for various reasons from physical issues, emotional issues, etc. What I'm saying is give yourself a little credit. You aren't completely failing. But something is blocking you from succeeding as much as you'd like and as much as you deserve. See if you can figure out what that is and use any resource possible to help figure that out.
Losing weight is not easy and you are not alone in your struggles at all.
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