What I am currently doing is not working… So I am feeling real good yesterday, it feels good to get back to the gym. I feel like I am getting healthier yada, yada, yada… I checked my weight at the gym last night and I am back up at 196lbs. You know I wasn't too bummed really, ok well yes I was but it isn't like a major funk bummed. When we got home I decided to check my blood sugar because I kind of felt light headed after doing one of my exercises. It wasn't too bad 148. This is too high really. But for someone that has been and stayed in the 200's all the time, I was ok with that for right now. I was kind of thinking "Hey, maybe all this exercise and weight loss is helping with my blood sugar some." I then had the crazy idea to check my fasting blood sugar, because honestly that has been the thorn in my side since developing this disease. It has always been high in the mornings, ALWAYS. So the last time I checked it was a few months ago and it was like 230 or close to that. I forgot to check it this morning! I decided to check it 2 hours after eating breakfast. It should at least be lower 100's 2 hours after eating. It was 248. I wanted to cry. So my rant is… If my blood sugars aren't getting better and my weight has just become ridiculously stuck, what is the point of all this? I can have this weight and these blood sugar levels and eat some of the foods that I have given up (like hamburgers and French Fries). Don't get me wrong, I like that I am exercising and I like that I am feeling better. I like that I know how to make healthier eating choices. I do like those changes, but I don't like that all the changes aren't really changing the important things. My weight (which is so important to my blood sugar levels), and my blood sugar. I guess it may be time to go see a doctor and see if there are other Medical options for me. I don't have the money to join WW, or get a real personal trainer. (My husband is great at this so I really already have a good trainer) Melissa, do you think that I can get more extensive WW lessons from you? (or anyone else for that matter?) I just feel like I need to do something different!
Big ol' confession post
17 years ago
3 comments:
I still love ya!
Kelley
Hey Carrie,
Question: What would your health results be if you had done nothing different? Would your health be better or worse?
I would argue that your health might have been on a path leading toward worse health than better. Right now you are doing a fantastic job at maintaining a certain health standard. Is it the most desireable? No? Is it better than the worst-case scenerio? YES! Believe it or not, there are many people in the world that wish they could keep your "maintainence standard". They wish they were "stuck" at your plateau. We see them everyday waddling to and fro, sometimes knowing that they can change their health but choosing not to.
While your looking at the details, keep at least one-eye focused on the big picture.(ie. healthier food-intake, stronger muscles, better cardio & endurance, greater flexibility and booming desire to succeed). All of these things you have accomplished over this time. Don't rush perfection, this process takes time. If nothing else, these things should give you hope in the future. YOU JUST MAY NEED TO CHANGE A FEW THINGS TO CREATE YOUR BODIES NEW PLATEAU. Keep on, keeping on!
Let me give you some advise from the great Chinese philosopher, Confucious--"Do what your husband say, and everything will be ok" :>
I love you Carrie! I'm always in your corner!
Carrie,
I know you are seriously frustrated right now, but you do have to look at the positive things that these last few months have given you. I don't understand in the least why your body is refusing to respond to all of the things you have started to do! You would think that your diabetes would have become slightly better and that your weight would be falling off. You have been doing such an incredible job with your nutrition and your exercise and I am really proud of you! I know that it's tempting to just give up and return to the "easier" lifestyle, but you wont. Because you know that even though you cant see the changes, they are there and you can feel them. I wish I could wiggle my nose and make us all be exactly where we want to be, but my darn magic has left me for some reason!
Keep your chin up and keep believing in yourself. I dont know what advice to give other than what we talked about earlier on the phone, and to just stay positive. I am here for your rants and raves and always will be! Love ya- Holly
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